Repentance cannot be easy, and forgiveness cannot be free.
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The emphasis in recent decades on forgiving yourself so you’ll feel better, and forgiving others who are not repentant, has cheapened the meaning of forgiveness.
Jesus clearly tells us to forgive someone who wrongs us and repents, even if it happens over and over, and He even declares that a prerequisite to God forgiving us.
But arbitrarily forgiving others without repentance, simply for our benefit, and working on forgiving ourselves after God has forgiven us, are recent man-made additions to theology, without Biblical basis.
This leads to multiple meanings for forgiveness, and confusion about our forgiveness before God.
+ One, as people are constantly told to forgive others unilaterally, many will think of God universally forgiving them likewise, without their specific, personal repentance.
Forgiveness is not forgiveness then—the two are not the same—it is something else, as shown by the numerous creative ways that modern psychologists and theologians each present their unique paraphrases, and call it forgiveness.
+ Two, forgiving ourselves is not in the Bible.
If we could forgive ourselves, then Jesus did not have to die for our sins.
If Jesus forgives us, then adding ‘forgiving ourselves’ means Jesus’ forgiveness wasn’t complete, which is really blasphemy.
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Forgiveness is not a mental activity or psychological maneuver—it is a spiritual transaction of the heart between two persons—one confessing a wrong done to the other (the sacrifice of humility), and the second accepting the cost of the wrong and no longer holding the wrong against the first.
Likewise, forgiveness before God requires humbly confessing to Him my spiritual bankruptcy, and accepting the extreme price Jesus paid for my sin, because He loved me so I can love Him—complete, finished, done, no additions, deletions, or corrections, ever, by me or anybody else.
That calls for shouting HALLELUJAH, THANK YOU, JESUS ! ! !
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Repentance cannot be easy, and forgiveness cannot be free.