If you are blessed with a wife . . .

I’ll be writing this as a man, to share the focus of undivided attention in your real relationship with her, rather than giving advice to everybody from psychology or theology.  But I trust that everyone may benefit from these thoughts.

If you love someone, you want to spend time with her more than anything else in the world.

If you love someone, you want to get closer, physically and emotionally.

If you love someone, you want to give, you want to sacrifice, you want her well-being before your own.

If you love someone, you forsake all others; you deliberately take steps to prevent anyone or anything from coming between you.

If you love someone, you make her the priority of your life; everything else is secondary, and that is evident, to her, and to others.

If you love someone, you make sacred times together, regularly, and everybody else knows it.

If you love someone, you tell her she is beautiful, inside and out; and you want her to get even better, because you know you can help make that happen.

If you love someone, you follow Jesus’ example; do for her what He did for us, talk to her like Jesus talks to us, give her everything you are like He gave to us, challenge her like Jesus challenges us, serve others together like Jesus served those in need, teach her the ways of God like Jesus taught us, make her things like Jesus is now preparing mansions for us, promise to be with her always, touch her often no matter what—like Jesus touched people even when they were down and out or dirty, and certainly have a good time eating and drinking with friends often like Jesus did.

Above all, if you love someone, you spend lots and lots of time praying for wisdom to do the will of the Father in heaven—showing her what the love of God is like in real life.  Love her with skin on and skin in the game.  That’s what Jesus did for us.

If you love someone, you will guard and fight against busyness borrowing from your time together.  Projects aren’t people, just as people aren’t projects, especially in marriage.  You can work, you can work together, but above all you must have fun together.

If you love someone, you will remember that it counts more in the long run to be sweet than to be right.

If you love someone, you will choose to enjoy her, and you will offer her something to enjoy in you, more than any stuff you get for her.

If you love someone, you will turn off technology when you are with her (or else it doesn’t count as time together).  Eye-to-Eye and Touch preclude all Technology.

If you love someone, you will not try multi-tasking, except when all the multiple tasks are directly focused on her ! ! !

If you love someone, and you are watching a good movie together, you will pause the movie before responding to any interruption (call, text, person, etc.)

If you love someone, you will give her the last, best minutes of the day, together, exclusively.

If you love someone, you will give her the first, best minutes of the day, together, exclusively.

Strangely enough, I am not married.  This time has given me a chance to think an awful lot about what a relationship would mean to me.  And since the Bible always compares our relation with Jesus to marriage, I have gained much in reflecting on what both could be.  “And, by the way, Jesus, I’m waiting.”

(started 7-3-13 finished 7-25-13)