Try this if your husband struggles with any variations of the following:
tiredness
weakness
failing health
discouragement
not getting better
even life-threatening
even family-threatening
reduced accomplishment
increased struggle to work
desperate need to rest more

and you struggle with blaming it on:
laziness
or attitude
or character
or his family
or personality
or . . .
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Sometimes a graphic, black-and-white illustration can get our attention to change ourself and our world—while we can—rather than continue watching and doing what does not work.
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A couple went to their doctor together to find out once-and-for-all what was wrong with the husband, and what could be done about it.
They both told the doctor everything they knew, including how frustrating it was for each of them, and their fears for the family, and even life itself, if it kept getting worse.

They told the doctor he was exhausted almost all the time, and work that he thrived on in the past had become almost impossible.
He could hardly function, and it never got better, for years.
He had been accustomed to pushing himself on jobs, including emergencies for others, and always recovering for the next day.
Then it turned into forcing himself on autopilot, just to get things done, without replenishing energy levels like before.
It kept getting worse—more rest, more sleep did not change the pattern, the facts.
Health and well-being were at risk.
They knew this could not continue—unsustainable—life wouldn’t last much longer.
Doctor, please help !
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So the doctor did his tests, as doctors do.
Nothing gave definitive answers, that he thought would turn things around.
Looking at the whole picture, he saw the gravity of their situation—indeed life-threatening.
Then he thought of a different prescription—with sound medical relevance.

He thought it best to share with the wife first, to prepare her for the prescription.
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Your husband’s condition is very serious, like you described it, even more serious.
If it continues to get worse, he may die.
All the tests do not give clear answers to the cause or the solution.
But we must do something, to rebuild your husband’s strength.

The prescription that I believe will help is for you to do the following:
+ Encourage him with positive conversation.
+ Tell him all he is capable of–and repeat as needed.
+ Help him do anything he can do with a little help.
+ Think of something special you can do for him, every day, to lift his spirits ! ! !
+ Your support of him in everything will do more for him than any prescribed medicine.
+ Restoring his confidence in what he can do will go a long way to restoring his energy.
+ Continued assurance that you are 100% behind him and beside him will be the key to his recovery.

With these things going for him, your husband will experience a new lease on life that can restore his strength and vitality.
Part of recovery may be right away, and some may be gradual.
But you will be the key—you are the ingredient to make the difference.
Be as consistent as possible.
Don’t give up.
You both understand the gravity of the situation.
I want to see both of you again in two weeks.
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Then the doctor gave the couple a few minutes alone, to share and process what he told the wife—to underscore his belief that she would be the key to her husband’s recovery—his very survival.
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The wife went back to her husband in the waiting room.
They were alone.
Immediately he asked what the doctor said.
The wife answered, “You’re gonna die.”
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This story makes the point, how much difference a wife can make—reviving, restoring, giving life — or not.