I am usually reluctant to add one more formula for family and parenting, but this one is too perfect to not pass on.

If parents use this consistently any time both mother and father are present, it carries the authority through other times.

– – –

Mother says, “Johnny, set the table for supper.” (Say the child’s name first, then the command.)

Mother waits ten seconds for Johnny’s physical response and verbal response, “OK, Mother.”

With Johnny’s response, Mother says, “Johnny, we are glad you are obeying.” Father hears that, and Johnny knows Father hears that. (If Father is not home, he will hear this when he gets home.)

Without Johnny’s timely response, Mother says, “Frank (Father), I told Johnny to set the table for supper, and he is not obeying me.” (Other times, Mother simply waits after Father gets home and says, “Frank, I told Johnny to set the table for supper, and he did not obey me.”)

Mother says nothing more, and does nothing—she doesn’t have to.

Father looks at Johnny, silently, for five seconds, with no other action.

With Johnny’s immediate physical response and verbal response, “Mother, I’m sorry I did not obey you,” Father says, “Johnny, it is good that you decided to obey Mother.”

Without Johnny’s immediate response, Father gets up, silently, walks over to Johnny, takes him by the hand, and walks with Johnny to another room.

Father administers appropriate discipline, as communicated clearly, by both parents together, ahead of time, for any situation of disobeying Mother.

THEN, Father speaks to Johnny with words—words that carry all the love and weight of God-given authority, just confirmed by action beyond any doubt for Johnny.

This works, and takes care of the heart of respect and discipline, because it is Biblical.