Consider this common situation between two people (particularly in marriage):<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One person brings a sincere complaint to the other, and the second person’s defensive response is, “But you do this other thing, that bothers me as well.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Any criticism that only serves as a rebuttal or diversion from a complaint, is not legitimate to bring up at that time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If one is not concerned enough about an issue to bring it up independently, it only serves to evade, when mentioned while dealing with another matter raised by the other person. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bartering with faults is not wise or productive. It actually calls for mutual excusivity, which is eventually fatal in relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Love that excuses small concerns by not addressing them seriously, eventually may harden into ignoring and even despising the person with bigger issues.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The test for progress or failure is whether the person bringing up something, believes the other person understands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Rules of engagement:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
+Stick to one subject at a time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
+Introduce your concern when there are no outstanding issues on the table.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
+Show that you actually get what the other person is saying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
+Take the time to talk, and listen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
+If you know you both have time to talk and listen, you do not have to become anxious or lose self-control.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Consider this common situation between two people (particularly in marriage): One person brings a sincere complaint to the other, and the second person’s defensive response is, “But you do this other thing, that bothers me as well.” Any criticism that only serves as a rebuttal or diversion from a complaint, is not legitimate to bring […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,3,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4726","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-educational","category-family","category-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.awordforthought.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4726"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.awordforthought.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.awordforthought.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.awordforthought.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.awordforthought.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4726"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.awordforthought.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4726\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4728,"href":"http:\/\/www.awordforthought.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4726\/revisions\/4728"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.awordforthought.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4726"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.awordforthought.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4726"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.awordforthought.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4726"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}