FUN WITH BIBLE VERSES AND . . . (edited with permission, i hope)

I choose to believe that humor is part of the image of God that we were made in before the fall, rather than part of the consequences we were cursed with after the fall.

“A merry heart does good like medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.”  (you can take that to the bank, and skip the doctor most of the time)

“Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might.”  Reflection on growing up on the farm—“Whatever your dad’s hand finds for you to do, do it with all your might.”

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother-in-law, and shall cleave unto his wife, and the two shall become one.”  (I added the  “-in-law” part—true, true, true)

Now, the risky one about an ox falling into a ditch on the Sabbath, and of course you pull it out even if it means working on the Sabbath.  I take it to the edge when I work on Sunday on rare occasions, and say that someone has to make the ditch for the ox to fall into.  (I drive a bobcat loader that can dig ditches among other things)  No theology here, please, just humor.

And what about the animals, like giraffes, and ostriches, and platypuses—you can’t tell me God didn’t have some extracurricular fun coming up with those.

And for the fairy tale believers in unicorns—they were real, in the Bible.

And for the dinosaur lovers (those who are sincere and those who think dinosaurs were gone before man—that is, believers in the invention of the evolution religion)—dinosaurs were real, in the Bible, with man.  Check out the leviathan and behemoth in the book of Job.

It’s real fun to discover and believe the accuracy of the Bible, especially when you know the Author, personally.

Fools say there is no God—obvious when they substitute evolution for God.  I just discovered that Psalm 14 and Psalm 53 repeat this truth nearly word for word verse after verse.  That tells us something, twice, underlined, exclamation point.

Let me end with some ‘serious laughter’—just one more of the divine oxymorons that show we’re not God.

“He who sits in the heavens will laugh; the Lord shall have them in derision.”  (check the context of that one—Psalm 2)

“A time to weep, and a time to laugh.”

Indeed.

CLIMATE CHANGE – – – FOOD POLICE – – – ENDANGERED SPECIES

New York City needs to get it all together—billboards and bus signs with the following:

POLAR BEARS DRIVING SUV’s DRINKING 32 OZ SODAS*

In the last half century polar bear population has quintupled (that’s five times).

Orange trees increase production with increased carbon dioxide.

All the carbon dioxide added to the atmosphere by man since the industrial revolution is less than the amount added by two major volcanoes.

All I can say about New York City sodas is this:

EVERYTHING’S BIGGER IN TEXAS.

There’s nothing better than being born a Texan, but we welcome immigrants, even from other states, IF you want to become a Texan and learn the language.

*(Thanks to Sandy Rios In The Morning on AFR TALK today for inspiration and information)

“WHEN YOUR MIND GOES BLANK . . . “

In central Florida there is (there was 25 years ago) a unique museum.  A man collected cypress knees (gnarled roots protruding from the ground), polished them, and wrote captions for each as the varied shapes and designs inspired him.  Very well done.

Also, for many miles on the highway leading to The Cypress Knee Museum he made crooked wooden signs with funny sayings to advertise the museum.  I wish I had written them all down.

One sign said,  “If your mind goes blank, be sure and turn off the sound.”

Hopefully my mind is not blank, after a couple days with the sound turned off.

If you don’t have something to say, it’s best to not say it too loud.

More where that came from, shortly.

“LORD, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?”

Often when I get some insight from God, my first and primary response is eager, even anxious, to share it with someone, or get it written down before I forget it.  (a few days ago I shared the significance of my memory difficulty)

This morning was no exception.  Again, I may forget some profound thoughts (at least I thought profound at the time).  But I will remember one.

Anytime that anything—any thought, any word, any email, any news—or any person interferes with our time with God first thing in the morning (quiet, alone, with His Book, on our knees), our entire day will suffer, no matter how much we have planned (or how much others have planned for us) or how much we think we have to get done.

Here is what I do remember from this morning, and it’s so simple you may miss it.  Don’t.

Several years ago in a close group of Godly men, I prayed aloud, “Lord, what do you want me to do?”  Sounds good, doesn’t it?  But God spoke to me inside immediately, “Leave off the last part, and we can talk.”  So, He wanted me to make my prayer shorter?

“Lord, what do you want?”  I have tried to pray that more, since then, especially when I’m worried about not getting enough done.  Perhaps my greatest nemesis centers around, “I didn’t get anything done.”  To which my pastor once replied, “Are you sure?”  (meaning, according to Whose agenda?)

This morning God gave me a simple, additional insight.  He knows I like to use concise words with significant twists to capture attention and communicate.  So He did the same.

“Lord, what do you want me to do?”  becomes  “Lord, what do you want . . . me?”  Anything else I can pray between those three dots doesn’t matter until He has me.

God wants me—first a relationship—then a closer relationship—time spent talking, together—then, and only then, doing anything worthwhile, together.

God wants you—same thing— first a relationship—then a closer relationship—time spent talking, together—then, and only then, doing anything worthwhile, together.

 

So, right now, could it be that petting the sweet kitty on my lap is God’s way of stopping my day to practice what I just wrote?

I’ll share a simple story with a very simple line that my dad liked to tell:

There was a lady well up in years who spent most of her day sitting on her front porch in a rocking chair.  Someone asked her if she got bored and lonely.  She replied cheerfully, “Oh no, I just sit here and let God love me.”  Now that’s living.  If only we could all learn her secret of getting stuff done, and inspiring others.

 

For a fun thought about a rocking chair, please read “LIGHTER SIDE OF OLDER”  3-16-12 on this site.

BENEFITS OF BEING A NICE GUY

.

 

(this space intentionally left blank—but I sure could say something)

HEADS, I WIN – – – – – TAILS, YOU LOSE

“Heads, I Win – – – Tails, You Lose”

Does anybody remember being tricked by that line as a kid?

One thing for sure, you didn’t get fooled twice with that coin toss.

Yet it amazes me that leadership in Washington has fooled half of Americans—twice—with logic as silly, and promises as ludicrous as the riddle above.

I may expand on this, but thought I’d let you reflect and come up with your own applications.

 

‘TWAS THE DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS

I’m a writer, but not a poet, so I read a few items on the internet with the above title.  Bottom line—check out the one at “The Foundry” from The Heritage Foundation.

‘Twas the day after Christmas, and

. . .this morning J.J.Jasper on American Family Radio mentioned that nothing clears out faster than a circus the day after it’s over, except for Christmas the day after.    That has often bothered me.  Others must feel the same way, because you see some Christmas lights for a week after.  But, for the most part, never a hint of Christmas in a business or public place.

I believe this reflects the true meaning of Christmas—missing in commercial, material pursuits before the “holiday.”  If that is all of your Christmas, you put it away as fast as you can December 26, because you have nothing left to gain after the day.

‘Twas the day after Christmas, and

. . . that was nice—in fact, it was wonderful.

‘Twas the day after Christmas, and

. . . we had fun—and food—and then some.

‘Twas the day after Christmas, and

. . . reality returns—back to work and worry.

‘Twas the day after Christmas, and

. . . it’ll take a few days to recover—understatement—name the category.

‘Twas the day after Christmas, and

. . . there’s no sign of Christmas, except for the return lines for stuff you don’t need or don’t like.

‘Twas the day after Christmas, and

. . . and . . . did I miss something?

‘Twas the day after Christmas, and

. . . THAT’S ALL, FOLKS.

NO !   NO !   NO !   Please don’t let that happen to you.  Baby Jesus didn’t disappear the day after Christmas.  His purpose here had only begun.  He changed people’s lives for years.  And then you know how His life ended—but it didn’t end.  That part of His job was done, “IT IS FINISHED.”  But even then His work was not done.

‘Twas the day after Christmas, and

. . . that is only the beginning of the story

‘Twas the day after Christmas, and

. . . why hasn’t He come to fix everything?

‘Twas the day after Christmas, and . . . AND

. . . He’s waiting—–for you—–to follow Him, to sign up today to join the crowd forever in heaven, to ask Him, “Jesus, please write my name in Your Book, today.”

‘Twas the day after Christmas, and

. . . and Jesus says your name, and then He says, “Come to Me.”

 

By the way, did you ever see the church sign that said, “NOW OPEN BETWEEN CHRISTMAS AND EASTER”?

 

Do check out the  ‘Twas the Day After Christmas”  poem at “The Foundry” from The Heritage Foundation.

“O HOLY NIGHT”

What is tonight for you?

What is tonight for me?

If you’ve read my writing for awhile, you will know what to expect as I answer the question for me.  But I’ll also share what you may not expect.

(to be continued shortly)

I’m back, six hours later, to continue.

What is tonight for me?

I

AM

BABY

STORY

FAMILY

EMOTION

ACTIVITIES

DIFFERENCE?

I

AM

Did you know that God identifies Himself as “I AM” ?

For me, tonight is about a God who is big enough to become a BABY and still be in charge of all creation.

Tonight is about the STORY of all history, because it’s all His-story.

For everyone, tonight is about FAMILY.  For this one evening, everybody puts everything else aside to be with family.

Tonight is EMOTION—indeed.  There is a month of buildup and then, tonight.  For many tonight meets the expectation and anticipation, and it’s the emotion highlight of the year.  Some get blindsided tonight, with less than favorable relationships, or without relationships.  It is real.  It is real tough.

So what can you do?  ACTIVITIES  help, much better than just sitting.  But busy-ness comes to a stop on this night, and reality sets in.

What makes the DIFFERENCE tonight between joy and celebration for some, and loneliness and depression for others?

I AM is at the beginning and I AM is at the end of everything—the word tree above, this essay of reflection, festivities come and gone, food, fun, and football, full house, empty house, best of times, worst of times, friends and family,  or alone.

Life is full of cycles, and we actually need some of the ups and some of the downs to appreciate life.

What is tonight for me?  I’ll leave you with two thoughts:

one—–It is my desire to make a difference in your life, in the parts that are for keeps.  The broader my range of experiences, and yes, emotions this night, the better I am able to consider how you may feel, and then say something that makes a difference.

two—–Love never fails, from God.  Because He loves you and me, we have Christmas, and Good Friday, and Easter, and our own Resurrection Day if we come to Jesus now.

I know what it’s like to be alone on Christmas Eve years ago, and cry out to God, “WHY?” from an empty church parking lot five minutes after the service was over.  But I also know what it’s like to be alone right now this Christmas Eve, writing to encourage someone like you that

“. . . life is worth the living, just because He lives.”

TEXAN DIALECT AND THE MAYAN CALENDAR

There is a story about a Texan archeologist professor looking for Mayan ruins with a group of students.

They came across two drawings and asked the professor to identify if they were authentic.

One drawing showed a person lying on the ground.

The professor studied it and said, “Definitely Mayan.”

The second seemed to show another person hovering in the air over the first.

The professor studied it and said, “That would be Super-Mayan.”

 

And now about the calendar.

All credit here goes to a winning phone call to American Family Radio a couple days ago.

“Of that day and hour knows no Mayan.”

Beautiful.

That bears repeating on December 21, Lord willing.

LOVE – – – INTEGRITY – – – DISCIPLINE

Comedian Ken Davis shares seriously from the heart about his father’s way to show love, about his father’s profound endurance in WWII, and about his personal inspiration to successful self-discipline.

Listen to it on James Dobson’s “Family Talk” for 12-4-12.